2017 A to Z Challenge Blog: N is for No Wonder

Good morning,  afternoon, or evening depending on where you are when you read this post. I’m kicking off week three of the 2017 A to Z challenge blog with a little tongue in cheek look at the subtle and not so subtle differences between men and women sent to me by a friend a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I don’t know the origin of the piece, but found myself laughing when so many of the points rang somewhat true.

So this morning, I give you N for No Wonder Men Are Happier than Women.

No one disputes the fact that men and women in the twenty-first century are equals in many ways, but they will NEVER be the same. Not only do they come with different plumbing, there are quirks and truths about them that will never change. Here are some of my favorite ones:

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

NICKNAMES
� If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
�If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

BATHROOMS
� A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel

� The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
� A woman has the last word in any argument.

� Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

NATURAL
� Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

� Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Now, as I said, it’s no wonder men are happier people.

Many thanks to the original author of this piece wherever he or she may be. Please stop by the A to Z blog’s site to visit other bloggers.  A to Z Challenge Blog